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Tuesday, December 31, 2002

New Year's Resolution: No More "Little Billy"

You know what I mean? Lovable "Little Billy" in Family Circus has a short attention span. His meanderings through the house, up a tree, onto his bicycle, through a neighbor's yard, over hill and dale, and into a snowbank have been lovingly illustrated over the years by Bil Keane and his famous dotted arrow Little Billy diagrams.

Sort of remind you of your work day? You start out by going to Hotbot so you can see what a search of the Inktomi database produces for the phrase "Google." (Just to see, you know?) Then, some inexplicable Little Billy force takes over. Instead of searching Inktomi, you decide to click the radio button to try a search on FAST instead, and instead of the phrase you meant to type, you type in some sexual gibberish like "Alyssa thong nude Tonya Harding Tonya Harding Michael Jackson sex video free" (just to see, you know, for comparative search engine research purposes only).

Then, you get a phone call and (mercifully) forget what you were doing online, but the phone call reminds you that you'd better check on a domain name idea you had. You spend the next 20 minutes looking up domain names. The confounded "domain name suggestion tool" actually piques your interest even more. Eventually, someone comes to shut off the gas, hydro, and phone service, so all you're left with is a few tins of beans and your cable Internet service and a computer system running on the handy generator you set up in preparation for just this sort of thing.

Um, er, anyway, my resolution is "no more Little Billy in 2003."

Posted by Andrew Goodman




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