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Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Permission Not Granted
To the corporate spamming weasels at Bell Mobility, my mobile phone service: please go back and read Permission Marketing. Very slowly.
For some reason, they decided that I could be opted into a regular mailing of "exclusive Internet offers." In other words, to the same scamming weasels who once charged me $541 in one month (early generation "mobile browser" that wouldn't shut off properly) and refused to send me a refund feel that it's perfectly OK to send me spam under the guise of "exclusive online offers:"
"Dear ANDREW GOODMAN," [wow... I'm impressed... that all-caps greeting felt so... right somehow. They must really care!]
"Thank you for being a Bell Mobility valued customer." [You'd better bloody value me. Your roaming charges are atrocious!]
"We appreciate your business and would like to offer you exclusive online offers!" [Now that's logical. You love me so you're spamming me?]
"Chance to win a Beetle when you purchase Bell Mobility cellphone accessories online!" [That's nice. I'm still waiting for my refund. Now get out of my inbox before I switch over to Telus.]
"Hurry, these exclusive offers are available for a limited time only!" [Say... that's the line I used on Tori Amos when I proposed marriage back in '97. I'm still waiting to hear back.]
"To unsubscribe, please click here." [Done. Why do I get the feeling I haven't heard the last of this? I've unsubscribed from the BellZinc small business newsletter six times, and it just keeps coming.]
Posted by
Andrew Goodman
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D'oh!
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