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Sunday, September 24, 2006

Competitive Blogosphere Research Gone Wild!

Let's start the week off with a bang. Here's what I think, in general:

  • Best Buy sucks.
  • General Motors sucks. I hate General Motors!
  • Apple Corp. is evil, rotten, hypocritical, and boy, do I ever hate that they have those funny ads right now, because I really like that guy who's the PC guy. That Mac dude is insipid.
  • Google - worst company in the world!
  • Ben & Jerry's and Haagen-Dasz both have unacceptably high rat-hair content in their Rocky Road formulations. Plus, the product is preserved with formaldehyde.
  • Toledo, Ohio is for losers.
  • Barry Schwartz has been married seven times, and murdered his third, fifth, and sixth wives.
  • Barry Diller owns several weapons of mass destruction
  • Burger King sucks.
  • Tim Horton's sucks.
  • The Canadian Football League sucks.
  • Hewlett-Packard is governed by out-of-touch executives. And their printers suck.
These days, it seems that the best way to get curious onlookers to visit your website - and sometimes, to leave a comment - is to post something about a large company. Sometimes with lightning quickness, the public relations departments of such companies (or their suppliers) will light upon your blog if it says anything controversial (or wrong) about them. This must be because they're all using state-of-the-art, proprietary competitive intelligence blogosphere research software.

Of course, I didn't really mean any of the above. Here's what I really think:

  • Best Buy doesn't suck! I've always been pleased by Best Buy's service. Their people are always helpful, and unlike the Canadian company Future Shop (now merged with Best Buy), they aren't commission-happy doofuses trying to upsell you on useless warranties. You know who really does somewhat suck, though? The Source by Circuit City (which I believe is this Canadian version of Circuit City which replaces the old Radio Shack in Canada, which was owned by different folks than US Radio Shack). The product selection is terrific, as you'd expect by a modern-day version of Radio Shack. Unfortunately the clever alarm clock I bought there flat-out didn't work. Also, on nearly every product worth more than $20, they wasted my time trying to sell me the warranty. Spare me the actuarial contortions and let me get my products and be on my way.
  • GM - don't care much for them, but I like the looks of the new Saturn Aura. Two years ago, my wife would have agreed, but years of harping on the high-end car purchase I plan to make have apparently sunk in, and she refuses to consider this as an option now, should we someday buy a new vehicle. Not classy enough. You see, GM? This is what you're fighting... at least Chrysler can claim they have cars with Mercedes guts (isn't that why they have Dr. Z. in the ads now)? Let's leave it at this, GM: you don't suck as much as Ford.
  • I think about as much of Apple as the next non-Apple-using person. Great company, but I hear they aren't as environmentally friendly as they could be. I'm typing this on a wafer-thin Toshiba Portege - I hope they're better. The Toshiba is great, and doesn't suck, but it did ship to me with two dead pixels. Don't you hate that?
  • Google is, in fact, the best company in the world.
  • I made up the ice cream stories. Also, be aware that no major beer brands are preserved with formaldehyde, although a self-appointed beer wonk knowingly told me that Molson's products are! Dude at the Charlotte House, you know who you are. Quit making stuff up! I did the research!
  • I've never been to Toledo, but in corresponding with a local publication, was surprised to discover how large it is.
  • No, not *that* Barry Schwartz! The other one - that murderer guy!
  • Barry Diller did kill a butler, but as far as I know, is otherwise peaceful.
  • Burger King does suck. It's just my opinion.
  • Tim Horton's does not. But their coffee is overrated, and about 5% of franchisees make it watery.
  • The CFL is an acquired taste. Also, you can lose that taste. I lost it. :)
  • Hewlett Packard is on the mend. But that last HP printer I bought sucked. More recently I've been using Brother products for printing.
To the Haloscan!

Posted by Andrew Goodman




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